I finished my first session of bootcamp about 2 weeks ago, and went straight into session two. I wanted to wait to do the fitness test with Rob and Heather last weekend as well as my own version of the Slim in 6 diet (which, let’s face it, is only different in that I drank some alcohol) before I posted my results.

But before I do that, I want to make this post a bit more personal and give some background story… I started going to gyms when I was 25…about 10 years ago. Yep, I’m old! I was very good about it for a long time. I worked in downtown SF and would go to Club One on my lunch breaks at least 3 times a week. I’ve never been a jock or a total gymbunny, but I did enough to keep myself reasonably toned. I developed some nice arm muscles and really liked feeling strong. Then I was laid off and a bunch of things happened in quick succession: I partied really hard for about 8 months, the money ran out and I could not find a job to save my life (hello dot.com job recession!), I became broker than broke, had to move, and then, just when things couldn’t get any worse, I got sick. MONO. For the second frigging time in my life.

And so began a two-year downward spiral where I felt sick every damn day, was still a leper in the job market, did various soul-sucking contract jobs, had a mono relapse, and struggled everyday to stop the tail-spin my finances and health were in. Due to all of the above, I was also depressed most of the time. I could not work out, and ate lots and lots of comfort food (goddamn right, I needed comfort!) and slowly gained 15 lbs. I might as well have had "HI, DON’T DATE ME!!!" stamped on my forehead. For some reason, all this didn’t deter the uncomparable Glenny Kravitz from taking a chance on me, but then again, he didn’t really know how bad off I was until he was hooked and then it was too late. Bwahaha! Hi honey!

After a long struggle and two years later, I finally found myself employed, stable, and healthy again. And I really wanted to do something about my body. Yes, some of this was vanity, because let’s be honest: I have always had a hot body. I am tall, with a small waist, reasonable T&A, arms that get muscled pretty easily, and long legs. Everything is well-proportioned. So what’s not to like? Before you start rolling your eyes, I could go ahead and list my flaws (bigger nose than I’d like, no jawline to speak of, big ol’ manhands), but women don’t compliment themselves nearly enough. Follow my narcissistic example, why don’t you, ladies?! Also, have I told you your ass looks good in those jeans? I would totally hit that! Anyway, my point is, suddenly I was quite unhappy with myself. When did I turn into this prematurely-aged, doughy blob with a gunt and bingo arms?!? I mean, what the fuck?!

I started monkeying around at the gym again, but I was just SO FREAKING BORED by it! Even with a gym next door to my office, I wasn’t going often enough or working hard enough. Enter BOOTCAMP . Works perfectly for someone like me, who has more motivation than discipline. I WANT someone to order me around (nicely), and tell me what to do (encouragingly). When I started, I was quite horribly out of shape. Running even one lap had me hurting and winded. I was one of the slowest in the class, always having to stop to walk when we ran from place to place. I loathed running, but I loved bootcamp. I dropped 3 lbs my first week (probably water weight, but so what?), and felt fantastic. I had to eat more often, but made healthier food choices. I had less desire to drink alcohol, and the added energy gave me much more mental focus and clarity. The motivation carried into other parts of my life. I took up some freelance work and started working on some personal projects.

And the changes in my body came pretty quickly. My arms are now fairly ripped. I still have a gut, but it’s getting smaller. I did not drop a ton of weight but I replaced fat with muscle. In general, I am more toned all over. And I started noticing something amazing in about week 3…running didn’t hurt so much anymore! I was gaining stamina. By my last week, I could run everywhere for as long as necessary, without feeling like I needed to stop. And even more shockingly…I (gasp!) ENJOYED it.

I’m sure you’re wondering by now what exactly they make us do, so I’ll break it down for you. Every class starts with a lap around Sharon Meadow (I go to the Golden Gate Park session). This wakes you up and is also rather amusing, since you frequently run through clouds of pot smoke (contact high!) and get surprisingly friendly greetings from at least three different homeless camps that are always gathered along the path, smoking their morning blunts and waking up with a refreshing forty. We meet back at our trainer’s car, grab some resistance bands, and then run to another spot in the park. Sometimes it’s Kezar stadium, or the DeYoung Museum, or the AIDS Memorial Grove, or Shakespeare’s Garden.

Depending on what muscle groups we’re working that day, we’ll usually alternate exercises with the resistance band (bicep curls , tricep pulls), with pushups or squats or crunches, and then run laps or on uphill trails. The pace is swift and you never get bored. You’ll get to know people in your group and look forward to seeing them 4 days a week. There’s two fiftysomething women in my group who I love. They’ve been best friends forever, and are funny, friendly, and fucking FOULmouthed! It’s hilarious seeing these mothers of teenagers cussing up a storm and talking about their knee problems and nightly wine habits. If that’s me in 20 years, I’ll be more than okay with it.

So, let’s get down to stats. Since I started bootcamp, I have lost about 5 lbs, about 2% of my bodyfat, and am down 1.5" in my waist, 1.75" in my hips, 1.5" in the chest (boo!), and like a 1/2" in each thigh. I can do about 40 pushups in a row without stopping, 40 situps, and knocked a minute off my 1.5 mile time from when I started. I am now only 6 lbs from my goal weight and wouldn’t be terrified to put on a bathing suit. I am still a ways away from where I want to be, but confident I’ll get there soon.

I’ve figured out some things I will do differently this session: I WILL go to Monday classes (that’s running day and I skipped all but one last time because I hated running), I will try to do ab workouts on my own several times a week (the 1 day in class we target abs is really not shrinking my gunt fast enough for my liking), I will do yoga (working at home 2x/week now will make that more doable), I will try to go to more of the optional Saturday beach classes and I won’t tell myself I can go ahead and drink that wine every night or eat that brownie because hey, I burned 500+ calories in bootcamp today! I need to cut way back on carbs, because I’ve realized that’s what makes me (and probably 90% of the population) gain weight. Everything in moderation though, including moderation.

I’m really looking forward to getting to my goal weight, so that I can just concentrate on maintaining. Anyone who has done weight loss/exercise programs knows that maintaining your weight is about 10 times easier than losing, which requires constant vigilance to make sure that you’re burning more calories than you take in. I am a true believer that the secret to success is finding something you LIKE that works for you. For me, it’s bootcamp…I’m getting everything I want out of it. P90X works for Rob and Heather. They can workout on their own schedule and do it together. That’s so awesome. If you’re unhappy with yourself, I encourage you to find something that you love to do, whether it’s a pilates class, marathon running group, surfcamp or exercise DVDs. All any of us ever has to do is just START. Once you see the results, the momentum will carry you through. And seriously…if *I* can do it (a lazy, unambitious, karaoke-singing, immune system-challenged, part-time alcoholic), than anyone can. GET IN IT TO WIN IT (or insert your own favorite motivational jocko phrase here).