Updates from Pooh… I mean, Smurf… Corner
So, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I suppose I have a good reason, though I’m not really sure how it fits into the theme of this blog. The reason is: I feel like shit and I’m frustrated and just generally channeling Eeyore under the big black raincloud. Contrary to the feel-good message of this blog, a big part of it is that I am not seeing the kind of physical results I want to from the healthy changes I’ve made. Which, in case you’re following along, makes me not just a failure but a hypocrite (if we’re being pessimistic.) Or, not just “someone who has yet to reach their goals” but “someone who preaches one thing while striving for another” (if we’re being optimistic.)
I had loads of goals set out for June, but, aside from running more miles than projected, I haven’t reached them. My weight is staying the same (except on mornings like today when it’s up a half-pound over where it was a month ago.) My foot and hip hurt. I’m exhausted. I’m irritable (VERY irritable right now because a coworker is destroying a fucking bag of Fritos and the smell/sound is getting to me something fierce- they turned off the A/C after a false fire alarm, so pardon me while I’m sidelined by the bone-rattling crunching and dog-paw smell.) I feel like mentally and physically I’m moving through molasses…
Here’s the kicker– this was my “no excuses” month. This was the month I had determined I WOULD be at a better place at the end of the month than at the beginning. “Just a month,” I told myself, “you have the power to make things happen.” And, I did do everything in my power and here I am this month in the exact same spot I was in last month. I even gave up drinking for the better part of the month, and… nothing! Logically, mathematically, seeing NO CHANGE is just like a big ol’ Universal “F-you.” What kind of “fitness blogger” am I if I can’t even get my own shit figured out? Much less, how do I represent what FitLifeSF is supposed to be all about if I’m feeling the way that I am?
Anyhow, I’ve got some stuff planned. I’m going to see a nutritionist and see if that helps with the tiredness and muscle fatigue. I’m going to try to take it easier on myself as far as making less labor-intensive dinners to see if I can get rid of some of the frustration and added stress. I’m going to try not to feel “less-than” in the face of the awesome gains Rob is seeing and accept that we are just biologically different. I’ll be back to my chipper self soon… I’m just getting really tired of being in this place.
What was your truest goal? One goal was to run a certain number of miles, and you did it (possibly at the expense of your energy level). One goal was to lose five pounds, and you didn’t–which very well may have to do with running 80 miles. Was another goal feeling great?
If your true goal was to lose weight, then altering your nutrition (not necessarily your exercise) will be the only surefire way of that happening.
If your true goal is to run farther then ever before, then you’re on the right track, but you need nutrition to boost the carbs you’re spending on the road.
If your goal is to be truly fit–feel great, look great–and strike a balance between exercise and good food so you feel better, not worse, then it sounds like a bit of adjustment and you’ll be there.
What are Rob’s “awesome gains”? Weight loss? Men always lose faster and easier because just sitting around, they burn more calories. Buffer muscles? Maybe he’s doing more weight work than you. Feeling generally good? Maybe it’s because he’s found a good balance between working out, work, and food.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Figure out what your real goal is–and maybe it’s only one–and then create a plan for that. Having several goals that may be at odds (in your particular body) is setting yourself up for blogs like this, and no one likes to see Grumpy Smurf!