Category: In the News
I got a good giggle out of this crappy copywriting job in this month’s Fitness Magazine:
“Joggers have a 40 percent lower risk of dying than people who don’t lace up their sneakers, according to Stanford University researchers.”
Or, maybe it’s not “jogging” that saves pepole, rather lots of people die by tripping over unlaced sneakers? I’m sure you understand that it’s quite difficult to pinpoint the true causual relationship in such well-presented research.
So, week two isn’t going as planned. I had to abort yesterday’s scheduled 8 mile run just .15 miles in because my right hip flexor and left shin were getting trapped in an excruciating Giggle Loop whereby one would prompt the other to ever-increasing levels of suck.
I’ll be on the eliptical today, if my hip can handle it. Boo!
Ah, the power of a stickerchart. Ask any mom who’s ever tried to teach her kid to pee in the potty, and you’ll hear across the board that the inexplicable lure of putting a sticker on a piece of paper on the fridge will completely reprogram human nature. I am pleased to report that my Marathon Training Plan Sticker Chart (pictured here at left) has a full set of seven stickers!
Well, I can assure you that you won’t find it in this press release from “Nutriquality.” Geez, oh man, just skimming this thing took 5 years off my life. I can’t imagine what would happen if I actually ordered the E-book.
(As a PR person in my dayjob, I collect clusterfuck press releases like this.)
Some highlights include:
“Nutriquality health supplements is revealing future plans to upload a new E-Book landing page that allows consumers to purchase and capture all the concepts of our online health experience in one short digital E-Book. In addition, this E-Book provides instructional videos that dismiss any questions about the contents of the E-Book.”
They plan to upload a landing page? So, even if I were interested, there is nothing I can view or purchase today? And, I appreciate the forethought put into this part… Have questions about the E-Book? The E-book will answer any questions you may have about the contents of the E-Book, so do purchase the E-Book to find out more!
“Nutriquality’s understanding of health fitness, food and the formulation of it’s corresponding products is unique in that we not only understands the science of kinesiology and food on a cellular level but rather comprehend how to present it to others in an easily understandable representation.”
“Nutriquality’s health fitness E-book not only allows you to read text in regards to what a consumer need to do but rather we provide instructional videos that walk a consumer step by step through all the book processes. Conversely, if you happen to be an individual whom visually learns better than reading this will be optimal.”
And… THE DOOZY!
“Furthermore, this is all presented in a way that makes it comprehendible to the average Joe, rather than the all to common expensive let down that seems to be in a foreign language even a code breaker struggles with.”
Well, as long as they understand their core competency is clear communication…
While I am working on a pretty in depth post about my opinions on one of my guiltiest pleasures- The Biggest Loser- the show finds itself in hot water this week for an out-and-out-lie. Rob can attest that last week, when it was announced at the end of the episode that 280-something-pound Dane had completed a marathon in four hours, my chin pretty much hit the floor. That’s MY goal pace! And he smoked it? And he smoked it with him and his wife looking like they’d just gone for a stroll around the block?
I think I just threw up a little. Visit www.thisiswhyyourefat.com for more, including Chicken Fried Bacon with Sausage Gravy and something called the McGang Bang.
Following up on a story we posted yesterday– According to the SF Gate, a Nike representative called Arien O’Connell early this morning and said that they would award her a trophy as well as the same prize awarded to the “elite” winner of the Nike Women’s Marathon.
Importantly, the representative said that they would also be eliminating the Elite field from future Nike Women’s Marathons, a decision I wholeheartedly agree with. Here’s the link to Nike’s full statement- (apparently posted on a User Forum, not an official press release.)
As I said in the comments of the previous story, I really believe that Nike is missing out on an opportunity to turn this into PR gold. Everyone loves a Cinderella story, and what better way to recognize the accomplishments of “Arien and other athletes who surpass their goals and achieve great accomplishments” than to give her a more than a Tiffany bowl and the sloppy-seconds, first-place title than to also feature her in a marketing campaign?